Teenage Ends Tomorrow
I woke up early today. I don’t know why. I’ll turn 20 tomorrow. There will just be this strange pressure from hereon. There’s nothing to be sad about because it hasn’t been the best years of my life, but again, there’ll be these weird expectations from me in my twenties. Again, maybe these are just my assumptions. Who knows, maybe it’ll be better. Probably should be the most impressionable years of my life. Anyone’s life.
I guess I shouldn’t be that worried. It’ll bring a certain sense of closure to my upbringing. Well I’ll still be living with my parents, but whatever. The one thing that I feared the most at age 15–16 was about having done nothing in the next ten years. This scare was obviously because I read up a lot on these young entrepreneurs, doing some amazing things, and most importantly, starting early.
Thankfully, I realised it’s OKAY to not have a timeline this short. Some things aren’t meant to be universally applicable on individual lives. And having this crazy cool established startup at 23–24 was certainly an ambition, but not anymore. In school, you just tend to be this thinker. A thinker who wants to run away from this boring Economics class. But little does this thinker know how secluded he is from the real functionings of this world. How simple was the world when you are thinking and wondering and imagining about doing things from the last bench of the classroom. Just because you can’t question the imperfect education system, you think about the future, because you can’t be the best of yourself at present. This leads to hope. Hope is such a nice word. Such a safe word. It’s not as bold as belief. It’s not as unabashed as faith.
I’m in a film school by the way, still halfway the course. And realistically, my 23–24 looks like being a production assistant on a random Hindi movie. And I’m probably looking forward to it. Getting to be a part of a major motion picture get made is fun. I’d potentially be one of the many slaves on a film set, but it’ll be a start. Twenties are where you get to build a foundation of your life. It’s where you decide how you’d like to shape up your life. Well this is what I’ve heard, let’s see.
I have no idea what will happen. But just to remain optimistic, I’ll just remember some lines from certain comedians where they say that 20s is just like 30s, but way more exciting. And it’s exciting because of the mistakes you make. I’ve always been an anxious person. Always worried about the mistakes I will make. Yes, I just typed “I will”. I’m constantly thinking about a bad thing, I haven’t done it yet. And this is something I’d like to leave here with my teenage. This anxiousness. So here’s me looking forward to the coming years, a celebration of mistakes.
